How I’m losing the mommy guilt…
Previously, I wrote a post about feeling guilty in mothering my four-year-old and trying to balance other tasks, chores, and even working from home. I really thought I could manage all these things and more! Like in my mind I saw less sticky messes to clean and toys to trip over and pick up. Oh, and thank you Jesus, my little one still naps! I could not have been more wrong while my mind was kind of having a party thinking about how life was going to change with my oldest starting full day Kindergarten and me working primarily at home. Please don’t misunderstand Clara and I were both ready and excited for Kindergarten and the changes it would bring. I was excited to have “Luci time” because before I was pregnant with Luci I got to have special one on one time with Clara and now I was looking forward to time like this with Luci.
Another important factor I totally forgot about is that these two had been like twins for the last 4 years. They are only 19 months apart and it slipped my mind that they were always together. Now it’s not like I let them play all day, that would be very contrary. I mention in my earlier post that I had a good system in place for them and for me. Most mornings looked a bit like this… While they were eating breakfast or watching morning cartoons I would get dressed, shower, you get the picture. Then we would focus on Preschool learning for an hour sometimes longer each day, have lunch, do another activity, go for outings, etc. I could keep telling you about this schedule, but I don’t want to bore you with every detail. All in all, it was a good system for them and for me. For the most part, I felt like I could get things done and I felt accomplished.
So, since I wrote about feeling guilty and the guilt was I have so much to do every day and here is my sweet four-year-old waiting for me all the time it seems. Somehow I didn’t add this into the picture correctly. My youngest is quiet and though she loves playing with her older sister she excels spending time alone. So I’m not at all saying I was planning on leaving her alone and I would endlessly do tasks all day long. I just thought it would be different and that most days would naturally balance out between us. For instance, when she was having her quiet play time I could squeeze in some work or put away laundry. This has not been the case with her though. She really values her “Mommy time” like nothing I have seen from her before.
In my previous confession, I mention realizing I need to regroup to come up with a different plan because the plan I had before worked for both my girls and now not so much for one. This is how I’m losing the mommy guilt and this is what is working for me now…
THIS IS ALLOWING ME MORE TIME TO
SPEND WITH MY 4 YR OLD!
I am going to bed early so that I can get up early
Working early in the morning
Making “to do” lists when I feel overwhelmed + doing my best to stick to them
Worrying less about sticky messes!