You guys OMG is right we are having another baby, baby #3 due in January! So the age-old question is usually did we plan this? The answer is yes. Let’s just put it this way; we were not, not trying to have a baby if you know what I mean.
Kevin and I have talked about having another baby for at least two years now. Some of the things we were still considering, our girls are getting older and the thought of starting over kind of scares us. Another thing that is already challenging for me is running a business with my husband. So adding another addition could make things even more difficult. I suppose the last question we kept asking ourselves, do we really want another baby?
I should also mention during this time of figuring out what we both really wanted we did get pregnant last April, but then very quickly miscarried at 51/2 weeks. This would have been our first surprise baby, but God had other plans for us. We kept this very quiet and really didn’t tell anyone. This was my first miscarriage and even though I was ok and accepted that it just wasn’t right and probably not the right time for us; it gave me an incredible amount of empathy for other women. My heart breaks thinking about the women and friends I know who have gone through this and even the women who struggle with infertility. I’m not going to lie I really hated the dozen or so doctor visits that followed, but I was so grateful for this experience because it brought me closer to God and closer to my husband.
Then I found myself in a place where I stopped talking to God about the fact I really did want another baby. See that sweet little surprise baby helped me to realize that I did want to become a mother again one more time. I do this thing where I hide from God. I try to hide my feelings and my heart from Him. I am getting choked up just thinking about it because I hate that I do this and that I continue to do this even when I know He already knows how I feel and what I desire.
I can tell you this cycle continued for a year and it wasn’t until I finally poured out my heart and told Him exactly how I felt. I finally told Him I desire to be a mommy one more time. Only a few days went by and wouldn’t you know I found out the day before Mother’s day that I was pregnant again! I felt like He wrapped up my answered prayer in a great big bow! Believe me I am still processing this amazing gift and I think I am learning a big lesson about my faith in the process. I have learned to not wait so long to tell Him how I really feel and to give my desires over to Him quicker. I know He cares deeply for me and wants what is best for me.
FLOWER FAMILY PARTY OF FIVE DUE IN JANUARY!